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Why Men Do Stupid Things: The Psychological Appeal of Prostitutes

March 14, 2008 Leave a comment

By Michael Bader, AlterNet. Posted March 14, 2008.

A psychotherapist explains what might go on in the deeper recesses of the minds of men like Eliot Spitzer.

There will no doubt be a lot written about Eliot Spitzer’s ethics, his hypocrisy and the damage done to his family, as well as discussions of the degradation that most prostitutes experience. He will be tarred and feathered for seeing a prostitute. And perhaps he should be, having broken vows to his wife, supporters and the citizens of New York State. As Spitzer takes his place with other politicians who have been busted for seeing a hooker, questions invariably arise: What is up with politicians screwing up their careers by visiting prostitutes? How can smart men do such incredibly dumb things? Does the attraction have something to do with power? Escape? Self-sabotage? For the moment, I want to put on my psychotherapist hat and try to explain what goes on in the deeper recesses of the minds of men like Spitzer.

(Continue…)

Is There a Dark Side in All of Us?

March 14, 2008 Leave a comment

By Elizabeth Heathcote, The Independent UK. Posted March 14, 2008.

On 28 April 2004, Philip Zimbardo was in Washington for a conference. The TV was on in his hotel room and photographs of the abuses carried out in Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq by U.S. servicemen and women flashed across the screen. The images are ingrained in our psyche now, but then they were new. Naked men stacked in a pyramid with soldiers grinning alongside. A female soldier leading a prisoner around on a dog leash. Prisoners forced to simulate sexual acts on each other. A prisoner in a hood balancing precariously on a box in the belief he would be electrocuted if he moved. Like millions of others, Zimbardo was deeply shocked by what he saw, but for the professor emeritus of psychology at Stanford University, California, there was a disturbing element of familiarity.

Midlife Suicide Rises in U.S.

February 19, 2008 Leave a comment
clipped from www.nytimes.com

Midlife Suicide Rises, Puzzling Researchers
A new five-year analysis of the nation’s death rates recently released by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that the suicide rate among 45-to-54-year-olds increased nearly 20 percent from 1999 to 2004, the latest year studied, far outpacing changes in nearly every other age group. (All figures are adjusted for population.)
For women 45 to 54, the rate leapt 31 percent. “That is certainly a break from trends of the past,” said Ann Haas, the research director of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
clipped from www.nytimes.com
Veterans are another vulnerable group. Some surveys show they account for one in five suicides, said Dr. Ira Katz, who oversees mental health programs at the Department of Veterans Affairs.
  blog it
this doesn’t surprise me….

Holiday Blues Quiz…

December 16, 2007 Leave a comment

How much do you know about the holiday blues? Take this quiz and find out.

By Deborah Gray

today’s quote…

December 12, 2007 Leave a comment

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.”

-Brian Tracy-

Asperger syndrome Information on Healthline

June 17, 2007 Leave a comment

I have a 15 y/o son that definitely has this and is in the process of being diagnosed & treated for it.  Unfortunately, I’ve suspected that he had it and went to my son’s psychiatrist who told me that he couldn’t possibly have it because he didn’t look like he did!!!  Well, now my little sister has her Master’s Degree in Social Work and started working with a child diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome.  He was so much like my son that she called me that day and told me that my son needed to get tested for it.

Definition

Asperger syndrome is a condition marked by impaired social interactions and limited repetitive patterns of behavior. Motor milestones may be delayed and clumsiness is often observed. Asperger syndrome is very similar to or may be the same as high functioning autism (HFA).

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

Hans Asperger labeled this disorder “Autistic Psychopathy” in 1944, and the cause is still unknown. There is a possible relation to autistic disorder (autism). Some researchers believe that Asperger sydrome is simply a mild form of autism.

The child with Asperger shows below-average nonverbal communication gestures, fails to develop peer relationships, has an inability to express pleasure in other people’s happiness, and lacks the ability to reciprocate emotionally in normal social interactions. The condition appears to be more common in boys than in girls. There are likely genetic factors, but some theories suggest a prenatal infection may be to blame.

While people with Asperger syndrome are frequently socially inept, many have above-average intelligence, and they may excel in fields like computer programming and science. There is no delay in cognitive development, in the development of age-appropriate self-help skills, or in curiosity about the environment. Generally, there is no language development delay.

Symptoms
  • Abnormal nonverbal communication, such as problems with eye contact, facial expressions, body postures, or gestures
  • Failure to develop peer relationships
  • Being singled out by other children as “weird” or “strange”
  • Lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests or achievements with others (a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)
  • Markedly impaired expression of pleasure in other people’s happiness
  • Inability to return social or emotional feelings
  • Inflexibilty about specific routines or rituals
  • Repetitive finger flapping, twisting, or whole body movements
  • Unusually intense preoccupation with narrow areas of interest, such as obsession with train schedules, phone books, or collections of objects
  • Preoccupation with parts of whole objects
  • Repetitive behaviors, including repetitive self-injurious behavior

Source: Asperger syndrome Information on Healthline

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Categories: Family, Psychology

Urban Legends Quiz

March 29, 2007 Leave a comment

I’m still naive at 45…my score… 

You are somewhat myth-savvy.

You got 6/10 correct.

Let’s face it: Every brain needs a good workout now and again.

Urban Legends Quiz

by Myriam Gabriel-Pollock
Did you hear about the old lady who microwaved her poodle? Or the sewer alligators of New York City? How about lethal Pop Rocks and mysterious hitchhikers? See if you can tell which of these urban legends were true stories and which are just tall tales.

(click here to take the quiz)

Source: MSN Encarta Premium

Quiz: Are You Ready to Repot? – Beliefnet.com

March 25, 2007 Leave a comment

Are you ready to change your life? Like a plant, your roots–your hopes and dreams–need to be nourished. Take the Repotting test by Diana Holman and Ginger Pape (reprinted from repotting.com), to see if you’ve outgrown your daily circumstances and are ready for a larger growth environment. Then check out the 10 steps of “repotting.”

Source: Quiz: Are You Ready to Repot? – Beliefnet.com

Anna Nicole Smith 1967 – 2007

March 11, 2007 Leave a comment

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Rick McKee, Augusta, Georgia, The Augusta Chronicle (GA). E-Mail Rick. Visit an archive of the artist’s most recent cartoons in the drop menu at the right. Click on the cartoon to e-mail it to a friend.

Source: Anna Nicole Smith 1967 – 2007

Categories: Cartoons, Humor, Jokes, Psychology

AlterNet: Sex & Relationships: Readers Write: Revisiting Queer 101

March 11, 2007 Leave a comment

 

Last week we published Cameron Scott’s Queer 101: A Guide for Heteros, and it drew quite a response from many of our readers.

Some people felt the article did not include the full spectrum of queer people — and took issue with the author for not addressing bisexual people or drag queens.

Others felt the use of the terms themselves was limiting in trying to understand the diversity of the queer community.

“Who gets to decide what term means what, what terms are affectionate and what terms are offensive anyway? Is there a president of gender terms that I’m not aware of?” wrote one reader. “I think this article and the obsession with terms and labels is pretty damaging. I know it’s only human to want to put a name to things, but the sad fact is you can’t always do it.”

Another reader, who identified himself as a gay man, said he had a difficult time relating to the article: “It’s like some kind of game show lightning round for homosexual terminology that doesn’t do a very good job of explaining or understanding any of them!” he wrote.

But for others, the piece was an opportunity to see the larger picture: “The point of anything our community and our allies write about us is this: We should have the same rights and responsibilities as all other citizens, whether or not we conform to anyone’s notion of correct behavior (including those in our own herd), as long as we are not hurting anyone else (Jerry Falwell’s delicate feelings notwithstanding).”

Other readers discussed the characterization of trans people and posed some of their own questions:

What I find particularly fascinating about the transgender movement are the endless questions about what it means to be a woman or a man or somewhere in between that are rarely fully answered. While there seems to be a focus on genitalia, hormonal changes (induced by ingesting synthetic hormones) and outward appearances, I think it will be more interesting to focus on the brain. After all, your brain will always be pre-op, no?

Many people found the piece difficult — probably for a number of reasons that aren’t surprising — after all, thinking about gender identity and how we all fit (or don’t) together, is not easy. One of the beauties of the queer community is getting to self-identify — to call yourself, if you choose to use such terms, whatever you’d like. It is more difficult, however, to see someone else’s version of what those words mean. And that’s what this piece was intended to be — one person’s view — not the official gay Webster’s.

Since so many people responded to this article, we asked the author to provide some more information on how he approached this piece, his larger intentions, and his reaction to the comments. Cameron Scott wrote:

The editors at AlterNet asked me to write a primer on queer culture because they felt that readers, however tolerant, didn’t know much about the “gays and lesbians” often referred to, but rarely described, in the mainstream media.

It’s hard to know things about people the media doesn’t cover and hard to know what people know. Based on my life experiences battling stereotypes, however, my starting point was what I deduced average, relatively tolerant people see when they imagine “gays and lesbians.”

My feeling is they think gay men are generally educated and urbane, but also effeminate and usually oversexed. They think lesbians are tomboyish hippies who describe their sexuality in terms of the emotional superiority of women. Or, they see Ellen, a harmless but spirited personality with short hair.

I set out to combat those stereotypes by describing some of the other cultural trends I see in San Francisco, the most densely GLBT-populated city in the country. The city gives a biased sample, but it also allows trends and differences to be more visible than they would be in cities with smaller GLBT communities.

I had just 1,200 words to do it. It seems everyone I described felt misrepresented or underrepresented, and everyone I didn’t describe was pretty angry about it. Ironically, I set out to make more room for difference, and I repeatedly stated in the piece that I didn’t pretend to give an exhaustive “list” of queer identities. In fact, I wrote, “taking exception to the rule is a — or the — fundamental aspect of queer culture.”

Some who were mentioned believed they were excluded, and those who were, excluded because I could only deal with larger trends, felt their exclusion suggested hostility. It’s possible that the lighthearted tone of the piece was misinterpreted as animus, but I also wonder if the queers reading the article weren’t predisposed, after so much exposure to hostile depictions of them, to see hate in my article when there was none.

For example, there were some gay men who felt that I furthered a stereotype of promiscuity, when I can find no reference to that in my article at all. (If I were to say something about it, I would raise my glass to monogamous relationships and plentiful sex alike.)

The most disturbing questions the comments raised for me were these: First, on a personal note, why is it that dykes who are engaged with the gender binary have no beef with those who aren’t and yet those who aren’t can’t extend us the same tolerance in return? Second, and more importantly, if even an article written by a member of the GLBT community that sets out to describe all communities positively generates such angry comments, should the media then not write about GLBT people at all?

Source: AlterNet: Sex & Relationships: Readers Write: Revisiting Queer 101

Categories: Psychology

Queer 101: A Guide for Heteros

March 11, 2007 Leave a comment

 

As last November’s election neared and a Democratic victory appeared more and more likely, Republicans warned that Speaker Pelosi would impose her “San Francisco values” on average Americans. Americans to the right of the left coast felt in their gut that San Francisco values were a shameful thing, without really knowing what they were.

Even San Franciscans scratched their heads a bit. The local paper’s sex columnist, Violet Blue, pointed out that it meant sex. She argued that the twist in conservatives’ panties resulted from San Franciscans’ sex-positive outlook. Blue offered a paean to some of the city’s sexual rituals, several of which, such as the Folsom Street Fair, are primarily gay.

But even Violet Blue didn’t tell the whole truth: The phrase “San Francisco values” came directly from the right’s well-worn gay-baiting playbook. In a story called “San Francisco Values Front and Center,” the right’s faithful warrior Bill O’Reilly shifts from talking about the city’s ousting of ROTC clubs from several high schools into a discussion of gay marriage. He includes standard playbook comparisons of gay unions to polygamy, “triads” and incest.

So why hasn’t anybody called a spade a spade? Many in Middle America have come to believe homosexual values must be abhorrent, based on the right’s insistence that all homosexuals are radical perverts.

Blindness to difference has allowed the right wing to invent a sinister stereotype of “homosexuals” that has only tenuous links to reality. Radical right groups generate bogus statistics by conflating gay men and lesbians (the claim that homosexuals are more likely to have STDs should more accurately say that lesbians have the lowest rates of STDs of any group) and gay men and men who molest boys (imagine if they consistently referred to men who molest girls as “straight men”). The right gets away with their smears because it has persuaded Americans that sex and desire have no role in polite society.

Queers understand that desire, like hunger, is inexorable and beyond reasoning with. Policy should work with that assumption, not against it or it will always fail. And as the good clean fun of bootlicking at the Folsom Street Fair demonstrates, the only aspect of sexual behavior that is subject to moral judgment is consent between adults. What would happen if every minute and every dollar spent limiting the rights of gays and lesbians was instead spent on prosecuting sexual harassment, rape and child molestation?

Source: AlterNet: Sex & Relationships: Queer 101: A Guide for Heteros

Do you have a strange mind?

February 22, 2007 1 comment

I can read this can you?

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

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